Monday, January 22, 2001

This really sucks ass, to pour my heart out on a depression board because well, I'm DEPRESSED! and to have not one hug, reply or any form of empathy or notice. Well go eat a hot fudge sundae!

Jim, even those that give so much support so well, need support themselves. Don't be like me and unable to ask for help or when it is offered not be able to take it. I feel incredibly uncomfortable IRL when I am offered help, I start thinking "What do they think I'm totally unable to do anything?" or "I must seem like a real loser, they don't think I can get anything done by myself."

With my meds I have the ups and downs, but they don't turn into screaming screeching ups and downs. As long as I watch my diet and stay away from junk food I am great. But this weekend I had fast food and artificially flavored cookies. Now I am a real bitch on wheels. When I get like that I retreat from my family to spare them my rants but get real lonely. So If I seem to be bugging people on icq, well, you know why, lol!

I'm really sorry that your son is giving you such fits Jim. My dd has also tested as gifted and has some very bad tendencies like some of the ones you mention in your son. She has outbursts if asked to help around the house I mean she cries and sobs like she is devastated because I don't understand that she doesn't want to help. She scares me! Not because she won't help out, but because of the rough road she is going to have ahead. Not sure I want to pursue meds with her though, it doesn't seem to come across in her classroom behaviour. Being thickheaded like I am I have a hard time understanding that it must be a problem she is having with me. Who else? I'd love to end this post with an LOL but that's not how I feel. Hugs to you all!!