Me, myself and I?

They don't exist I only exist in response to the fires that call me... the times that are idle are confusing to me "it's been awhile since I've been...." I'm confused that I'm not being accused of something... usually it's because I've fucked something up.... I figure that it's probably why he keeps his ex's as friends... or possible back ups.... I see it in his eyes... I'm lacking....