The Top 14 Other Interesting Findings by Philip Morris


14> Dying of lung cancer saves people from the anguish of a
mid-life crisis.

13> A persistent hacking cough is excellent aerobic exercise
*and* really works the abs.

12> Facial wrinkles, yellow teeth and shriveled lips greatly
reduce the risk of being stalked.

11> Because of an accounting error in promotions, if everyone
under the age of 18 pooled their Marlboro Miles, they
could buy the company.

10> Abundance of nutritious carbohydrates in Miller beer make
for an excellent energy drink.

9> Yellow nicotine teeth stains provide camouflage in cases
of jungle combat.

8> Discarded butts make a great snack for rats *and* choke
thousands of disease-carrying pigeons to death every year.

7> Little kids think that adults with "throat cancer voice"
sound really cool.

6> People who sit at desks all day long are prime candidates
for heart attacks. Smokers, on the other hand, leave their
desks and go outside several times per work day.

5> Turns out smoking is a reliable indicator of sluttiness
in women.

4> Without cigarettes, the entire economy of our nation's prisons
would collapse, forcing thousands of American inmates to go
without bitches and shivs.

3> You're never fully clean until you're emphysemally clean!

2> Smoking is the third safest method of weight loss, after
fen-phen and heroin.


and Topfive.com's Number 1 Other
Interesting Finding by Philip Morris...


1> Man, that RuPaul is one hot chick!



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[ Copyright 2001 by Chris White ]