This is a sarcastic story written by a fellow cyber-Mom named Mary Burgess. I thought it was funny. Not everyone will, but it's not meant to be hurtful or anything. ((Hugs))!

And now, for the first installment of...

Fairy Tales for Gun Loving Conservatives...
The Three Little Pigs(by Mary Burgess @2001)

Once upon a time there were three little pigs.

The first little pig went out into the world and built his house out of straw. It was cheap and it was quick.

That night after he had finished his house there was a knock on the door and the Big Bad Wolf called out, "Little pig, little pig, let me in!"

"Not by the hair on my chinny, chin, chin!"

"Then I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll BLOW your house in!" While the Big Bad Wolf huffed and puffed the first little pig called the police. Unfortunately for the first little pig the police did not arrive in time.

The Big Bad Wolf ate the first little pig.

The second little pig went out into the world and decided to build his house of sticks. It was cheap and it was quick.

That night after he had finished his house there was a knock on the door and the Big Bad Wolf called out, "Little pig, little pig, let me in!"

"Not by the hair on my chinny, chin, chin!"

"Then I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll BLOW your house in!" Well, the second little pig remembered what had happened to the first little pig, so he pulled out his gun. Unfortunately for the second little pig he was so scared that he couldn't remember the damned combination to his child safety lock so when the Big Bad Wolf blew down his house his fire arm was useless.

The Big Bad Wolf ate the second little pig.

The third little pig went out into the world. He built his house out of bricks. It was expensive and took a lot of time, but the house was solid and secure.

That night after he had finished his house there was a knock on the door and the Big Bad Wolf called out, "Little pig, little pig, let me in!"

"Not by the hair on my chinny, chin, chin!"

"Then I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll BLOW your house in!" Of course, the Big Bad Wolf couldn't blow down the house made of brick so he rammed down the front down instead.

Unfortunately for the Big Bad Wolf, the third little pig was holding a .40 caliber Beretta with no safety lock on it. When the Big Bad Wolf went to eat the third little pig, the little pig shot him square between the eyes killing the Big Bad Wolf and thus making the world a safer place to live.

The moral of this story is:

Carry a big gun and visit the shooting range often.